Just today I felt really jealous…..
All because, I saw a guy in my neighbourhood, same age, same height but he had a car and what made it worse was that it was raining and from my departure to the bus-stop was like 15 minutes. I tell you that there and then I felt this hatred in my heart in a form of a sharp pain (like someone is pricking my heart with a needle). This pain continued for like 10 seconds, but it felt like 2 minutes to my surprise, so I just look through the rain into the clouds like my eyes can see God-Himself, if he can tell the difference between my tears and the pouring rain that had no respect to the fact that am upset and troubled. Well as you can tell the first rule of human nature is to blame someone else for our own problems, so I blamed my failure of not having a car and the girl next door (whose parents are obviously rich and not like mine) on God (I always think that when things don’t work you should go to the source/maker).
But just as fast as the pain has come, it was all gone because God explained. I tell you it happen so quickly that I can’t remember some of the words He said….(this is how it always happens with me and Him). Two of the questions I remember is that; is that all I want in life? (to have money?) and Do I know why he had created me? (the plans and purpose to which he created me for). Then like a storm of feelings I saw some good attributes that I have that I would never part with like; my generosity, passion for the people who are less fortunate compared to me, and gift that I can make friends easily (and more but I don’t want boast or bubble….lol). I tell you that through out this conversation it felt like it wasn’t raining and that I was sitting under a peaceful shade…..( I kid not).
(This is the important bit now). I do believe that who ever is going through pain or any form of bad feelings which can’t be explained just look up to your source/maker and don’t hide your tears or anger, just tell Him how exactly you feel. I have heard people say “be real with God” well I say just tell/show just how bad it is. But and I say But, don’t try to change anything until He has given you the manual on how to change it. ‘Cos most of the time we think we need to change but sometimes God wants us to ACCEPT and move on. WITH GOD THERE’S NO D.I.Y……THAT’S WHY JESUS CAME TO DIE FOR US ALL.